Just one more post tonight

Well I know I have posted two posts tonight... an update and some pics... but after posting it has hit me... we had to physically force Ky to take her meds in her milk tonight. Having to hold my baby down against her will knowing that she is hurting and upset and there is not a thing I can do about it is the most awful feeling in the world. I have had a real feeling for the past couple of days that I just want to hold her and sniff her. Life gets so busy everyday and I find myself sticking her in the swing to check email or do laundry and how guilty will I feel if something were to happen and I did NOT take every chance possible to hold her and love on her.

And then there is sitting her everday looking at her wondering will she be okay tomorrow... in two weeks, in 6 months...in a year? Will she go to her prom or get married? What happens if something terrible happens? What do I do then? How do I live then? I try not to think about the future... only about today and today is a hard day...tomorrow will be better.