I don’t think I have ever had such an ominous feeling. I feel like the next ten days are going to come and go in a flash. I keep thinking of all the things I “NEED” to be doing…. and then I think of what I really WANT to be doing. Quite honestly I have no desire to leave my house. I want to sit there in my La Z Boy and hold Sissy. I want to take pictures of her every single morning noon and night. I want to paint her toenails and dress her in every outfit in her closet. Because I got to thinking… I haven’t really taken any GOOD pictures of her since Christmas. What kind of horrible mother am I? And a photographer to boot… I want my phone to stop ringing. I want emails to go away. I want deadlines to cease and I want the world to stand still for just 10 days while I enjoy them, and my baby girl.

And I want everyone to leave me alone. And if I snap at you… I want you to turn around and walk away. And if I cry – by GOD do not tell me to calm down… because I might haul off and smack you. And trying to “reason” with me that I am just getting the kids all upset. That is just wrong- only thing that does is add GUILT to my stress and anxiety and fear and shame on you!
I am pissed off, I am scared to death, I am stressed out, and I am tired. I need a couple of days to not think about anything…. 10 days.

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