You guys I am nearing the end of my rope with this… pooping stuff. I swear. The only way for me to be able to accurately tell people what is going on is to do it ALL myself and I can’t. How am I supposed to run a studio 40+ hours a week and be a full time caregiver for Kyleigh. God… Diapers and cathing alone can take up 6 hours of my day!

I really have not been this frustrated since she was 8 weeks old and STOPPED eating.

She has lost 2+ lb since her closure surgery. And no hopes of gaining it back again. We are down to 18 lb and we were at 21 almost 22. She will not even drink MILK from a bottle anymore!!! Kyleigh cries all the time and this is a kid who was perfectly happy and running around the day before surgery. Nap time is like HELL on earth. She screams pretty much anytime I am not holding her. Its 3:17 pm and she has been in her bed for close to and hour crying. She won’t take milk, or juice, or water. She won’t EAT anything pretty much. Her butt is a mess which I am trying my darndest to get back under control and she STILL has not pooped today.

Cathing is producing less than 20 CC each time. When we were on fluids in the hospital we were getting 120-150CC every time!!! So I KNOW that she is not hydrated like she should be.

I am beginning to wonder if her heart is okay because she does NOT look good to me. She LOOKS like death. Her eyes are all sunken in… and blue – she looks like a raccoon with blue circles all around her eyes and mouth. Her belly is poofy (but soft… not hard by any means)… she is pale as a ghost.

Truth be told I REGRET having that surgery done at all. All of this is much harder to deal with knowing that it is my fault. I am the one who pushed and pushed to have it done. I should have left well enough alone and just kept the colostomy. I could have lived with the colostomy for many more years. We were the selfish ones who wanted to get rid of the colostomy and now my child is hurting and going through all this CRAP because we were selfish.

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