By the time we went to see Megan at 3:30 pm her fever had already broken. She was down to 99.9. You could tell she was feeling much better. We decided that it would only be safe to send off urine cultures to make sure it was not an infection. Megan prescribed Bactrim (since Ky just got off Keflex about a week ago) and we are hoping that the Bactrim will knock out any infection that is left. Of course Megan also reminded us that if this infection IS still there and if the Bactrim fails to do its job to get rid of it then we will probably have to be admitted for an IV run to get rid of the infection. Which you know… that is fine. We do what we have to do to make sure that Ky stays healthy. Really when you think about it a day or two on an IV in comparison to two months with a bladder infection … there really is no comparison.

There are a few things that I KNOW…

When we came home from the Cystoscopy with the declaration of a bladder infection and Keflex, we were cathing and getting consistently an amount of 60CC+ EVERY time. Now we are back to getting that MAYBE once per day… sometimes not even that. When we are putting in the saline irrigation we will put in 60CC and get BACK 45 CC… HOW is that possible? Is her bladder EATING this solution? I don’t think that in 10-15 minutes she is absorbing 15CC of solution. Also making matters worse is that Kyleigh is now verbalizing her pain… which makes everything worse for me. Not knowing was better. Now every time we go to cath she tells us.. “Hurts you mommy… calf da pretty butt hurts you mommy”… which means it is hurting her somehow.

I am about at my wits end with the Urology stuff. I don’t know what to do for her. I want to fix it but I cannot. I want to take the pain away but I can’t even do that. Its days like these that make me feel like a complete failure as a mother. And I know I am not a failure… I know everyone will say “you are too hard on yourself” but no matter what anyone says… you still feel it and think it. There is not much you can do about it to make those feelings go away. You just keep trying and pushing to find answers and hope that those answers make things better.

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