You know there are times when you can find nothing to say. Today, tonight really is one of them. I find myself at a loss. Tonight I find my heart in a place that brings me back to the days of my childhood. I am not an overly “religious” person but I know that at any given time there is a spirit which dwells within me that makes me whole. That rises up in me and brings me grace and peace. As I laid down in bed tonight my mind wandered upon this scripture and I began quoting it in my head.

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

9 What does the worker gain from his toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. 13 That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.

15 Whatever is has already been,
and what will be has been before;
and God will call the past to account. ^[a]

16 And I saw something else under the sun:
In the place of judgment—wickedness was there,
in the place of justice—wickedness was there.

17 I thought in my heart,
“God will bring to judgment
both the righteous and the wicked,
for there will be a time for every activity,
a time for every deed.”

18 I also thought, “As for men, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals. 19 Man’s fate is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath ^[b] ; man has no advantage over the animal. Everything is meaningless. 20 All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return. 21 Who knows if the spirit of man rises upward and if the spirit of the animal ^[c] goes down into the earth?”

22 So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than to enjoy his work, because that is his lot. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him?

Little known fact about Amber: I was raised in a church going home. My heart was nurtured with a good christian background and my faith is still strong. I know every book of the bible and I have read the entire thing cover to cover. I have studied many passages and I often find myself and my mind wandering upon these passages.

This time for me is a new day. A new journey. A new peace and hope. I pray that my Heavenly Father will give me the grace to see it through. I have spent so much time in the past few years. Making a home, a marriage, beautiful children, fighting for my daughter’s life. And that brings me to here and now. NOW is my time. This is the time when I find the words that were spoken to me by a very wise man to be true. He said that when he looked at me he saw this beautiful tree. Flowering and blossoming with its perfect petals glowing. Tall, strong and proud and without even a notice of the fact that this tree he saw before him was blooming right in the dead of winter. With snow all around. When the rest of the things around me were barren there I was…. blossoming. Well I am here to tell you… for such a time is this.

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