Where do you go when you cannot go home? When did you have that realization that you can never really go home again. I guess maybe because I am so young that I never really thought about it. My life has been in a rush for as long as I can remember. I got to thinking the other day… what happens when you cannot go home anymore? When you walk into your parents house and realize that it is their house and not your home? It finally happened almost 8 years later. Up until then I walked into my sister’s room, my room and it still felt like home.

What happens when you walk into your OWN house and it doesn’t feel like home? How is it that we become aliens in our own homes? I know that Troy and I have had the talk about reclaiming our home after this whole mess. He said… “this is my couch.. our couch… Aunt Missy’s couch… no one else’s and I will sit on it whenever I feel like it.”. I am glad that he is able to just push right on through and you know many days he is my strength through this. I look around my house and I am ready to be done here. I am ready to sell it and move on. This was a place where dreams were made and crushed. Babies were made here and nearly died here. I know that it really is not about the “stuff”. These walls are just walls. I am half in the notion to paint the entire house. That may be my new year’s project. I have always wanted Ebony Cabinets too… hmmm now my brain is brewing!

At any rate how does one go about reclaiming their life… their home… their very being. I never really lost myself I just got sleepy… for a very long time. I cannot wait to hit the gym tonight and get re-energized…

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