They say that you should never look back. The best way to keep achieving great things is to stay focused on the road ahead. I both agree and disagree with this philosophy. We cannot forget where we came from. We MUST not forget our mistakes and successes. While we need to focus on moving ahead and spend our energy on being productive in that way… we must also look back every now and then.
Looking back is life affirming. It gives you hope and strength.
So tonight… I am posting the first pics of the “post everything” Amber and Troy. So yes… its an iphone picture but as we were sitting, nestled next to each other, on a cold COLD night in Cincinnati… we sighed. We were sitting in the exact same restaurant that we warmed the seats of MANY mornings (and nights) when Ky was in the CICU. It was a place of peace and escape for us.
As we sat there enjoying our pancakes we just enjoyed our time. It wasn’t fancy or expensive. It wasn’t flashy or extraordinary. It was comfortable and WONDERful. It was RIGHT.
So.. what about us? What came next? Pretty much everyone knows about the affair. I know my mom always told me not to air my dirty laundry but it needed to be aired. Troy said the same. It is a level of accountability for him. To make sure that he never slips back into that dark place that led him to such desolation. He was hurting… I was hurting. NOW….
We are… dare we say it…. happy. We are paying off our debt… making plans for our happy, nearly HEALTHY kids and enjoying life…. together. We both realized how very much we had missed each other for so long. We spend a ton of time just talking like we used to when we were dating… Troy even left me the sweetest note on my computer in photoshop the other day… It simply said.. I (HEART) U. Its as simple as that. LOVE conquers all.
I have had several people ask me… what WOULD I say to this “nanny” if I ever see her again. Well first off if I ever see her again… she better be wearing rain boots because I will likely vomit on her…. she still makes me ILL… and secondly… I would say simply… “I win.”
Its as simple as that. Really though… WE win. Troy and Me. US. Our family. WE win.
Our life is vastly different. Not over-extended, hurried and exhausting. I have found my Inner Domestic Diva and I am thoroughly enjoying being crafty (thanks for the inspiration Alison!). Troy is the most attentive, kind and thoughtful person anymore. Even the way he talks to the kids is different. We as a family have made a decision to make it to church – no matter what. It REALLY IS that important. We have seen miracles and experienced answered prayers. We are thankful, appreciative, overjoyed and HAPPY.
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