I was praying the other night and I asked God. But HOW. I know we are supposed to forgive and I even WANT to forgive…. but its so HARD. Its so hard to know that someone has disrespected and WRONGED you and there is seemingly no vindication. I have always been a “fixer”, a “doer”. I believe in right and wrong and was always taught that those who are lukewarm would be “spewed” from his mouth. There is no gray area… you are wrong… or you are right. I have become quick to admit my wrong and ask for forgiveness.

Yet somehow there is always a “but”. But this person did something SO bad… SO hurtful… SO awful… how on earth do I forgive them when not only have they done something SO wrong but they have NO remorse? When you are the victim of some horrendous act, you see this person and they move right on. It was of little account to them. These people are pot stirrers. They create some calamity in your life, turn around and walk away. Are they effected, well I am sure… but you rarely get to SEE it. I think that SEEING that pain, seeing their reaction or remorse is so helpful but so many times we do NOT see. I think that God uses the lack of sight to teach us to trust Him. To hold fast.

It is human nature to want them to get their “just rewards”. Everyone says “karma”, what goes around comes around, etc… but I wanted to know what the word said. I wanted to know if feeling this way was wrong. I wanted to read with my own eyes and hear my God reassure me that I need to only worry about myself. How powerful of a statement is that? Those who rage against you will be ASHAMED and DISGRACED…those who oppose you will be as NOTHING and will perish. WOW. I know that I would not want to be on the receiving end of God’s words in these verses. It is a comfort to me just to know that he has fought these battles FOR ME.

It so easy to be afraid. To fear the forgiveness. To fear what you will LOOK like and if the person will hurt you again. To fear life itself. After you experience a traumatic event in your life you always have that twinge that creeps up on you sometimes. In the beginning of the healing it is quite often. As time goes those twinges are fewer and further between. You think of it less and less but it seems that when the memories come they rage inside you. You fight with your own mind to squash them, you pray and you hang on. To hear God’s reassurance in this verse “For I am the LORD, YOUR God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you”. Who could be afraid after that?

This song, Hold Fast, by Mercy Me is such an anthem and testament to God’s promise. He says to EVERYONE who’s hurting, to those who’ve had enough, to ALL the undeserving… Please do NOT let go… I promise there is HOPE. HOLD FAST… help is the on the way, HOLD FAST He’s come to save the day, ONE THING greater than my strife is HIS GRASP… wow.

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