Jon and Kate… my heart is with you…

Posted by Amber On May - 25 - 2009

I had to get back out of bed (even though Cake Boss is premiering!) and write this post.  I know that this will probably never makes its way to Jon and Kate but I feel the need to write because of my recent experience in this arena.  While I do not have 8 children… I have a child who is as stressful and probably as complicated as 8 kids.  I know the kind of stress that a marriage can come under in extenuating circumstances.  Someone once told me that 85% of parents who have children with special needs, end up divorced.  Tonight when Kate said that she KNEW parents of multiples had triple the divorce rate, my heart just fell.  I watched with tears as Kate explained that she thought they were better than that and my heart just broke.  I wish I could call Kate on the phone.  I wish I could tell her that she is NOT alone.

Kate… if you ever get the occasion to read this… I thought that WE were better than that too…. and we were… we just didn’t realize it and I believe that you and Jon are too!!!!

I know that everyone rips on Kate.  She’s bossy, she’s controlling, she DROVE him away.  That is just a lie.  I do NOT care what she has said or done it gives Jon absolutely NO right to do anything that he has done.  He made a commitment to his family and he made a CHOICE.

Kate… if you are still reading now… PLEASE do NOT feel guilty.  YOU did not do this.  YOU do NOT deserve this.  Period.

I know Jon has said that he did not CHEAT on Kate.  I have to be a little candid when I say… just because there was no “sex” that does not constitute complete faithfulness.  If you kissed someone… you cheated.  If you had an “inappropriate relationship”… YOU CHEATED.

Inappropriate relationship… that is what Troy liked to call it.  Its a bit of a flowery term don’t you think?  A little like a chocolate dipped jalepeno pepper… it looks like chocolate… but on the inside it is something that is the furthest from it.  It bites you and you didn’t see that coming because you THOUGHT it was chocolate.

Watching tonight’s episode was HARD for me.  Its been a good long time since I had a really CRAPPY day thinking about “the incident” and tonight I KNEW full well going into it that it would be this way.  I knew it and yet I felt the need to continue on.  Why?  My heart aches for Kate.  Listening to her at the end of the show say… its all for the kids.  She is being strong for the kids.  She will be friendly with him for the kids.  She has to so that the kids are healthy.  Jon acted like the birthday party was hunky dory and that everything was fine and the kids knew no different.  I am sorry to tell you.  They know.  My kids knew and they were a lot younger than yours!  YOUR KIDS FEEL IT.  Do not kid yourself into thinking that you are doing a good enough job that you can hide it.  Kids have a deeper connection than that to you as a parent.  THEY KNOW.

Kate… I hope you ARE reading… You do NOT have to take this.  I hear myself in you.  I hear my own words.  I am being civil for the kids.  You cannot criticize that hooker for the kids.  What if she ends up their step mother… HAH! NEVER.  ( Just for a moment I would like to digress to a conversation that I had with “the nanny” on the phone one day while Ky was in inpatient back in October…I told her… the best woman WILL win and we ALL know who that is.  I told her I would win and I did… *can I get a bit of a victory dance ladies?*)  But Kate… please know… this is YOUR family.. YOUR husband.  Do NOT go down without a fight.  Fight for your life.  Fight for your love.  Fight for everything you have worked for.  For your children… Fight and fight NOW.  Fight hard and DO NOT roll over and allow him to end this.  You are 50% of this battle and I personally am pulling for you!  It is possible.  Look at us… trust me if WE came back from something as terrible as what was done to me… you and Jon CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!  I wish had had someone to tell me this when I was going through it.  When I was doing this… I was doing it alone.  (well with the support, prayers and fasting of a whole herd of people) But mostly me.  Kate I know how alone you must feel.  I cannot even imagine how that must be magnified by being in the spotlight and paparazzi craziness.  I cannot imagine how having to do this in front of 1 million people must feel but I can tell you… FIGHT.  With every single breath you have in you.

You know… when you marry someone… you GIVE that person your trust.  You allow them into the deepest parts of your heart and soul.  You allow them to know things that no one has every known.  You tell them your hopes and dreams… you share with them your deepest fears and when that person, the one single person in the world who is supposed to be everything to you… betrays you… there is no pain that can describe that.  It the darkest, most lonely, aching place that a human soul can go to.

I really have always felt that I was BORN a fighter.  I have not had an “easy” life.  There have been many things in my life that could have “messed me up”… but they didn’t.  Even now… I fought and won.  I fought with the biggest allies on my side…

So tonight…

My dearest Heavenly Father, You are the maker of all things.  You are the winner of ALL battles.  You are the ordainer of marriage and the Father of Kate and Jon too.  Father God, please lay your hands of healing and peace on Kate.  I watched those last episode and I could FEEL the anger.  I know the sting of that rage.  Please God wrap your arms around her and allow her to fall on you.  And for Jon Lord… I pray that you would place a sense of conviction in his heart.  For whatever this bad decision it is that he has made.  Also allow HIM to know that there is peace and forgiveness, mercy and grace and that broken things CAN be mended.  Allow his heart to be turned toward his wife and kids and that he will come to understand his godly place in that family as the father and husband he needs to be.  God empower him to step up and DO THE RIGHT THING.  Because there is a right and wrong to this… God please allow the right to prevail.  And for Kate God… peace and grace.  God give her the will to fight for her husband and her family.  Allow her to SEE that this life… is HERS… and hers alone.  It is not to be shared with another.  Give her the strength and the peace of mind to continue on.  Give her the heart to PRAY for her husband and I am not talking.. “please God” prayers.  God I pray that EACH of these two would find themselves on their faces before you pouring out their hearts.  I pray God that you would turns their hearts to each other and that you would begin to heal them TOGETHER.  I pray that your would mend their hearts TOGETHER.  That you would bring them peace TOGETHER.  I know it is NOT your will for any marriage to be broken.  As your word says… we CAST DOWN every stronghold in their lives that would bring evil against… we declare that things will CEASE.  We stand on your promise that you KNOW the plans you have for us.. plans to promise and keep us… plans to give us HOPE and a future!  God I stand TONIGHT with every person who is praying for Jon and Kate and claim their marriage for the good of YOUR kingdom….. in the name of Your son, Jesus, we pray…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Amen.

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4 Responses to “Jon and Kate… my heart is with you…”

  1. Tiff says:

    I watched this last night and my heart ached for them. I hate seeing her in pain, I have no clue who she is in real life but I love there show, they seem so “real” not fake. It hurts me that this is happening to them. I hope she does somehow fund your blog to read about what you said.

  2. Lori dennison says:

    Ugh. I missed the episode as I was too busy arguing with doctors. I am in complete denial that there is anything wrong with their relationship though. I will put my fingers in my ears and humm. I will pretend I don’t even see the magazines in the checkout aisles. So sad.

  3. Barb says:

    I hardly ever watch TV but have caught their shows and many of times just watched episode after episode. I really feel horrible for this whole family. My husband sent me a text this week about it and I was just in shock. I have no idea if they are In Christ but I pray along with you that if they are not that our Heavenly Father would lift them up and heal their marriage and draw them closer to Him. Your prayer is beautiful and the blog is so touching and your words so true. I pray that Kate & Jon both find your blog. God is the Great Physician! I pray that both Jon & Kate will fall on their faces in repentance and cry out to God to save them,their marriage and their family. I do not blame Kate as she did not make Jon do this as he chose to. It takes a STRONG woman to stay in a marriage and fight and honestly Kate seems pretty strong to me. Fighting is definitely what they need to do. Fight to keep this marriage and make it stronger in Christ. Thanks for your blog and prayers. I will join in prayer for this family. They need to be lifted up.

  4. Amos says:

    I cannot understand the people who are in total denial that she was just as responsible for the divorce as Jon. Didn’t you watch the show? She was absolute monster to him! Even when he would apologize to her she would continue to berate him. I think there are many out there who believe that he really did somewhat suffer abuse from her. I cannot even imagine all of the footae they couldn’t use because of their discord.

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