It can’t end this way….

Posted by Amber On November - 11 - 2009

TroySilhouette

I took this photo at one of our fall weddings this year.  I looked up through this perfect sunset and there Troy was in perfect silhouette.  It brought tears to my eyes… I am not usually one to get emotional over that kind of stuff.  I think all too often, when you are married for so long, you start to take things for granted.  You know it happens, I know it happens, let’s just be honest with ourselves.  In an instant all of the last year flashed before my eyes and I thought of where we were last year and where we are this year.  What a difference a year makes.

One of our new favorite inspirational pastors is Jentezen Franklin.  He pastors a church in Georgia and we were listening to one of his sermons this evening entitled “It can’t end this way”.  Have you ever gone through something in your life and just known that THIS is not how life is supposed to be.  You just KNOW that God has bigger and better plans for you than this and you wondered how on earth will this ever work out..?  Yeah… been there.. still there honestly.  There are some BIG “demons” that we are facing down right now.  (And yes I know that there is bound to be someone who will interpret that incorrectly… my word to them… ITS NOT ABOUT YOU.. this has nothing to do with you… this is about ME and my family and MY life.)  There are so many things in life that threaten to steal our peace and our joy.  Financial struggles, marital stresses, problems conceiving a child or dealing with relationships, health issues the list goes on and on.  There are a million things that bring us down every single day.  Have you ever thought… It CAN’T end this way… ?  I have and I do.

Right now, our family is at a turning point in our lives.  There are so many decisions to make and so much confusion.  I told Troy the other day that I felt like last year my life imploded and this year is the plume of smoke that comes afterward.  But there is SO much smoke I cannot see through it.  I have really been “down and out” at the many things that are invading our life recently and thinking “how on EARTH will this work out okay?”  Then I heard this sermon from Jentezen Franklin and it struck a chord in me when he said “I REFUSE to allow it to END this way.”  That is so true for me.  We have worked TOO hard…. through TOO many things to let it end this way.  Honestly this is not about our marriage… that is good right now… but so many other things… I REFUSE to allow this happen.

“If ever there was a time when we were willing to give EVERYTHING it is now.  There is no time to be relaxed spiritually now.  For some these times will bring out the worst… for others the best.  What STARTED in the fire… must NOT end in the smoke.  You need to rise up and say “It’s not going to END this way.” I refuse to start out a volcano and end up a drip.  I refuse to get on Holy Ghost social security and talk about the good old days. ”

I look at my life and I think.. I canNOT give up now.  Its too late.  We have come too far.  We are 90%. It was amazing to me to hear Jentezen reference the fire and the smoke since I JUST said those exact words to Troy this week.  Its always good to know that God will confirm his will and his word.

The ONE thing that I know is – that my God… my Heavenly FATHER has promised me great things.  He has promised us ALL great things.  I refuse to allow my CIRCUMSTANCE to define me and my family… because we are better than that.  I know that God has Troy and I in training.  Right now we are in the darkness and HE is going to give us a voice that we will proclaim in the light.  Because you see, I asked God, a long time ago for a testimony.  I asked Him to give me a voice to proclaim HIS glory.  What kind of proclaimation am I to give right now?  I fail to believe that my testimony is done developing.  I fail to believe that.  It CAN’T end this way.  I won’t accept it.  Just like I did NOT accept the events of last year… I do NOT accept these things that are rising up against our family now.  I do NOT accept our financial situation.  I do NOT accept our family relationship issues.  I do NOT accept our health issues.  MY God my God…It CAN’T END LIKE THIS!!!!!!  I know that I know that our brightest days are  ahead.  I may have been burnt but I am NOT banished and I will accept NOTHING less than God’s promise for OUR life.

Because the people who are able to proclaim God’s greatness are the ones who have been through something… those are the people who can shout because they have NEVER been forsaken… they have been down but not out.  The have been “burned” but not DEAD.  “Its one thing to DANCE when you have never been knocked down.  Its another thing to dance when you’re dancing on broken bones…” ~JF

When everything in you cries and aches… that’s when its time to GET UP and keep going.  So today, I choose to get up.  Out of my self pity and my worry.  Out of my sorrow, grief and doubt.  I choose to GET UP and proclaim the promises of MY GOD that my Heavenly Father has given me a purpose.  I have an inheritance in Christ and I have a book of promises… and ALL of those promises are YES and AMEN.  I am 26 years old and I am just getting started… the brightest days are ahead for me and my family.  “But as for ME and MY HOUSE… we will SERVE THE LORD.” Joshua 24:15.  I haven’t come this far to allow the enemy to ROB my family of my victory.  It CAN’T end this way and it won’t.

I highly encourage you to take 20 or so minutes and watch those videos.  This is the actual message from Jentezen Franklin.  It had to be broken up for You tube but start at #1 and move through #3. OR go here to view the uninterrupted sermon:

Jentezen Franklin: “It Can’t END this way.”

I promise it will change your heart!

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3 Responses to “It can’t end this way….”

  1. Tricia says:

    That was good. And I think the best part was hearing the sermon from my old pastor. It can’t end this way. I am praying for you and yours, Amber. May God bless you abundantly in the days ahead. :)

  2. Amen sister. It is so easy for me to sit back, having a self pity party and let infertility take over. And honestly- sometimes it does happen, but I agree 100% that it will not end this way. Great message…I really needed that. Girl we have to keep each other lifted with eyes to our Lord!

  3. Carla says:

    Oh my gosh…YES I have been there.

    Fall 2004.

    I was there. 5 years later and I can see how it was the fiery furnace that has shaped me into who I am, and how it’s continuing to shape me…

    Fall 2004: financial struggles. major illness. infertility. stressed about schooling for the boys. uncertainty about the future of our lives together.

    Fall 2009 finds us so greatly blessed…it’s not perfect, and I didn’t get my dreams then of another biological child…but can you imagine my life without Katie?!

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