Its official!  The house is on the market as of Monday.  Troy Todd, our fabulous Realtor, came and put the sign in the yard and I thought that it would be an emotional time but truthfully I am REALLY excited about the new ventures and possibilities in our life!  I know there will be many questions swirling throughout friends and family and I would just like to clear the air on some things:

So… where are we going once the house sells? We are moving in with my parents.  My parents are converting their garage into a garden home in the spring and for the time being their basement is being finished out into an apartment (we had done this once before but NOT like this time!  This time we are going drywall, recessed lighting, kitchen and all!)  We are hoping that timing coincides to be able to finish their home before we move in but it looks like God may have other plans…..

Why are we moving? Ah that is such a deep question.  For a variety of reasons but mostly because three years of stress on our finances, compounded by a deathly ill child, an affair, and a major remodel of the house has led our finances into a mess that will be hard to dig our way out of.  Every bit of “savings” that we have in the world went into renovating this house (and renovate we did! … pretty much everything from the studs up is new!) so we now find ourselves selling it to get our money back out of it.  We know though, that God is working out a way for us to be DEBT FREE, have a tiny bit of savings, and be rid of this house all at once!  Mostly though, we need help.  Having three kids is not easy for perfectly healthy families and we now have not one but TWO family members who are not well.  (Ky and myself.)  It is not fair to Troy to ask him to run a household, have a full time job, keep up the business (what little of it still exists) and take care of three kids full time.  Without this move, that is what the months after my surgery would entail for him because I will be nearly completely disabled.  I will not even be allowed to sit up straight for several weeks after the surgery.

Which brings us to “the surgery”. My neurosurgeon made it clear that he is going to try one more consult with a rheumatologist but after that I will have to stop putting off the surgery.  He told me to prepare to make peace with it so that at our next appointment (in 2 months) we would be ready to proceed with whatever path may need to happen.  I don’t know that I will ever be ready to decide on this but it will be a lot easier to proceed knowing that my kids are within walking distance of their school, there is someone at the house 24/7 and they will always have full bellies and a bath at night.

What made us decide to move in with my parents? They offered.  When I say offered.  They sincerely wanted to help and have decided to GIVE UP their bedroom, their house, their kitchen and everything so that our family unit can stay in tact and build something new for them.  I find myself in tears to know that my parents would be willing to make that kind of sacrifice.  This house, is the house that I grew up in.  My parents have owned this house for almost 26 years.  They have built everything in it… literally from the upstairs walls, roof, bathroom, to the kitchen cabinets.  Everything is the result of THEIR hard works, blood, sweat and tears.  For them to sacrifice that for ME and for my family… makes me know that I am the luckiest girl in the world!

Isn’t this house the “family” house? It may have been the place where Troy’s grandmother resided but it very much is OUR home.  This is the house we brought Kyleigh home from the hospital to, and the house that she nearly died in one day.  This is the house that we say a vision of, and made it come true with our own money and hard work.  This house was BOUGHT and paid for FROM the family so it truly does belong to us.  It is not something that was wholly “gifted” to us just as it was not “gifted” to Troy’s parents.  It was a part of an estate that was settled nearly 15 years ago now.  I would be more than happy to sell this house to any member of the family willing to buy it but for us… now… we must sell and for as close to asking (or more!  I am still believing for a bidding war!) so that we can pay off debt and move on with our lives. This house also holds a lot of BAD memories for us both and Troy has told me he has no idea how I have had the strength to stay here as long as I have.  Well… its not me, God has given me strength and grace to see this whole process through until now and HE will continue to be the WAY MAKER in all of our paths.

Will we buy a new house some day? Maybe… maybe not.  I have always wanted a family “compound” if you will.  It would be my ultimate dream to have us, the grandparents, my kids, their kids, and hopefully generations to come, all reside on one piece of property.  There is something so beautiful about a family being so close to their roots and having my kids hear stories about my grandfather (my dad’s dad) in the navy and about my grandmother’s “little house in the country”… I truly wish that Troy was able to tell our kids about his family but sadly he doesn’t know a lot about them.  It was something that was evidently never discussed in his family.  (I am sure that statement will piss someone off but I am done with it at this point.)  Maybe some research in the future will take care of that.  I want to sit down with scrapbooks of pictures of the great-grandparents and I want them to eat Sunday dinner with the great-grandparents who are still alive.  I want them to be able to say things like “My Pap would roll over in his grave if he knew…” because then I will KNOW that my kids really KNEW their grandparents and not just some “image” of what a grandparent should be.

Troy and I were working in the garage the other night.  Troy was trying to cut something on his chop saw and he looked at me and said “As Teddy Teater would say… this blade is as dull as my life”… I laughed and cried at the same time because it really hits me in the heart to know that my dad and Troy have the kind of relationship that my dad and my grandfather had (Pappy)…  because having a truly respectful relationship with your in laws is what is BEST for your kids.  That can’t always happen, as I am finding out, but when it CAN… its a beautiful thing.

Because like the Allstate commercial says…. I have realized that the size of my television is LESS important that the number of people gathered around it.  I want my kids to have such a rich sense of heritage that they KNOW and love all of these things.  I want them to crave this for their own families in the future.  I want them to always come home for Christmas because that is JUST WHAT YOU DO in our family.  If you NEVER tell your kids these things, they will never know.  Maybe its the fact that I have had to come to grips with the brevity of life, but I have become a person who wastes not ONE chance to tell my kids how much I love them.  I have and will continue to do EVERYTHING in my power to make their life “rich” and that is more meaningful than any CREDIT SCORE or bank account balance.  Because I know the MEASURE OF A MAN is NOT how tall he stands, how WEALTHY or INTELLIGENT he is..

So if you are still out there and haven’t ditched me after my LONG hiatuses… (lol) please join me in prayer.  God is already working a miracle!  We received an OFFER on our house the first day it was shown!  That offer is contingent and that makes us nervous.  We also, possible have 1-2 MORE offers in the fire that are trying to work out the details!!!!  God is good and He is working MIGHTILY in our lives right now.  I KNOW that after this is done we will stand and look back and KNOW that we are a people the Lord has blessed!  (Isaiah 61:9)!!!  (that also happens to be the scripture painted on my wall at the top of my stairs!)

My song inspiration of the day is: 4Him – Measure of a Man

This world can analize and size you up and throw you on the scales
They can I.Q. you and run you through
Their rigorous details
They can do their best to rate you
And they’ll place you on the charts
And then back it up with scientific smarts
But there’s more to what you’re worth
Than their human eyes can see
Oh, I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
‘Cause I’ve found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside to the bottom of your heart
And what’s in the heart defines
The measure of a man
Well, you can doubt your worth
And search for who you are
And where you stand
But God made you in His image
When He formed you in His hands
And He looks at you with mercy
And He sees you through His love
You’re His child and that will always be enough
For there’s more to what you’re worth
Than you could ever comprehend
Oh I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
‘Cause I’ve found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside
To the bottom of your heart
And what’s in the heart defines
The measure of a man
You can spend your life persuing physical perfection
There is so much more
More than ever meets the eye
For God looks through the surface
And He defines your worth by what is on the inside
I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
‘Cause I’ve found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside
To the bottom of your heart
And what’s in the heart defines
Oh, I say the measure of
The measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand,
How wealthy or intelligent you are
Oh, I’ve found the measure of a man
God knows and understands it
For He looks to the bottom of your heart
And what’s in the heart defines
Yeah, what’s in the heart defines
Yeah, what’s in the heart defines
The measure of a man
I know, I know

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