I was shocked and amazed.  Now that I know she can do it I will take the better video camera with me.  This one was just my cell phone.  But here is another one… isn’t she fabulous?

This is Kyleigh and her dance instructor on the first day of class.  Of course it is a little reminiscent for me because Kyleigh is dancing with the program that I used to work with when I was at Parks and Recreation.  I have known Mindy for MANY years so it is very comfortable to have Ky in her class.  She really is a fabulous teacher and I would trust my girl to no one else!  Kyleigh also marks the second generation of girls in our family to dance with Mindy as my younger sister danced for Mindy for close to 13 years.  So… all around its kind of cool!!Recent Comments:

• Dianne says Thanks for sharing your family with us, your kids are so cute! [more]
• Amber says Nicole… I emailed you! Sorry it took me so long! [more]
• Amber says Nope.. I am not gone… just busy! Had a crazy, amazing, awesome and BLESSED summer and fall [more]
• Melissa Gooch says I hope you and your family are well. I was just wondering if you have you given up this [more]
• Nicole Walters says Hello
  I was recently diagnosed with chiari, and now my children are also showing symptoms. I came across your blog online, [more]

• January 3, 2012 -- Kyleigh turned 5!!!
• January 3, 2012 -- Blessed.
• June 24, 2011 -- Kyleigh’s dance recital
• May 15, 2011 -- “It is well. It is well… through the storms, I am HELD”…
• March 20, 2011 -- Spring Cleaning…. part two… Kyleigh’s room

Sometimes when I have a bad day and I end up in tears over one thing or another I will hear this playing through my head.  Almost like her voice still echos to me even though she has long since passed.  But she was SO right.  There are so many things in life that I think could be solved with a little less GRIPING and a little more praying!  True?

I recently started reading a new book called “I Told the Mountain to Move” by Patricia Raybon.  It’s all about praying effectively.  I believe this is a book that I purchased shortly after “that horrible time” a few years ago but I had not made the time to read it.  Now as I delve into the book it has really made me think.  We sit in church on Sunday and the pastor will “Lets all bow our heads and pray… Dearest Heavenly Father, etc etc etc…”  So formal and proper.  We all do it.  Hands folded, heads bowed.  We even teach our children this is how we pray.  But really the HEART of prayer doesn’t come from a church pew or from a bowed head.

I can remember the first time Troy had dinner with my family.  I was mad at my mother about something and of course, she asked ME to say the blessing over dinner.  I still think it was spiteful but nonetheless I did it.  Out came my “prayer”.  “God, mom wants me to say the blessing over this food, and here goes… bless the food… thanks”.  And that was it.  Troy has laughed at me for YEARS now over that.  He said it was like I was dialing up my best friend to have a chat on the phone.  But really, is that so far from the truth?  For me, even though that prayer WAS a bit half-hearted, I have MANY prayers today that are almost similar to that day.  They are CONVERSATIONS with God.  I tend to think of God as my Heavenly Father so most of my prayers start with me calling Him by that name.  I rarely find that I use flowery language.  Some of my best prayer times come from when I am driving so eyes shut are hardly an option. There will be a beautiful song come on the radio that will move me and inspire me to be thankful or convicted and I will let loose.  I sometimes find that my prayers are a little like a therapy session where I unload the days troubles.  But really, if you truly think about it… and that old camp meeting song… “He will hear our FAINTEST cry… answer by and by.”  I honestly believe that God loves to hear from us… straight from our hearts and if our hearts are burdened THAT is when we should CAST our cares on Him.  Have we forgotten that HE is bigger than all of our cares, troubles, struggles, burdens, hurts, happiness, joy, good days and bad days?  I have not forgotten that.

I also think that some of the most effective prayers I have ever prayed have come from a desperate time.  Desperate times call for desperate measures I guess.  Back when the “What Would Jesus Do?” bracelets were popular there was another acronym.  P.U.S.H.  Oh boy!  Is that the acronym for me?!!!  If I am good at anything in life it is PUSHING until I get something done!!!  P.U.S.H. stands for “Pray Until Something Happens”  How true how true.  Maybe that is why some of the most effective prayers come from desperation!  Finally, at that point, you are able to PRAY without ceasing. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)  Pray always.  Pray on your face with tears of sincerity.  You pray and you cry out and boom… a miracle.  And so many are shocked.  Elated but shocked.  But WHY?  Should we not pray EXPECTING that miracle to happen?  What happened to faith as a grain of a mustard seed? (Matthew 17:20)  If there is one thing I can say about myself is that even when doubt creeps ins… I still EXPECT that my Heavenly Father will rescue me from ANY situation.  I BELIEVE strongly that anything that happens is NOT outside his plan and that ALL THINGS work for the GOOD of those who serve Him.

I think that the KEY to having prayer that WORKS.  Prayer that MOVES mountains… is CLAIMING those promises.  You must TAKE that Bible that lies on your bedside table and USE it.  It is a TOOL to lead and guide us through life.  Anytime you have a decision to make… get in the word.  Anytime you are at a crossroads… get in the word.  Anytime you hurt… get in the word.  There is an answer for EVERYTHING in your life… in the word!  There is also instruction on HOW TO PRAY… in the word.  Prayer is mentioned 511 in the King James Bible… Did you know that God has given us 511 instructions on how to pray yet many of us flounder through our daily prayers with nothing more than “Dear God…”

I truly believe that prayer should be a conversation with God.  Sometimes, just like a parent, I think that God needs a little reminding.  I take every opportunity to remind Him that HE has promised us GREAT things.  That HE has moved mountains.  That HE has parted the sea and that I EXPECT Him to do the same for me and He has done for Moses, Jacob, Joseph, Daniel, David, and many more who have come before me.  Throughout the day, when things go wrong instead of complaining (which I do enough of!  I will admit it… I am not scared!) I try to look at the situation and CLAIM the promise.

Take for example this past week.  We had some major upset with Kyleigh’s medical bills…. Bills from 4 years ago to boot.  I dug in my heels and said to God (as I was on hold with the 5th person) “I do not accept this debt!  You gave my daughter life MORE ABUNDANTLY.  You have HEALED, RESCUED and RESTORED her body and now I expect that the work which you have started in our finances will also be the same.  I BELIEVE that You are able!”  Not more than 1 hour later… I received a call from KMSF saying that they were writing off all of the bills due to “incorrect” filing.  Is it true that they were trying to Balance Bill me? Yes.  Was I NOT responsible for that in any way because of Kyleigh’s three insurances?  YES.  BUT….  that could have turned into a bigger struggle than just a few hours worth of phone calls.  It could have gone to a lawyer, to court, to many more levels.  BUT… it didn’t.  It was FINISHED.

So…I challenge you today… when something comes your way that is not positive that you would look that opposition STRAIGHT in the FACE and CLAIM the promise that your Heavenly Father has given you to protect and keep you!!!  Start practicing this and see how quickly all of your cares melt away!!!Recent Comments:

• Dianne says Thanks for sharing your family with us, your kids are so cute! [more]
• Amber says Nicole… I emailed you! Sorry it took me so long! [more]
• Amber says Nope.. I am not gone… just busy! Had a crazy, amazing, awesome and BLESSED summer and fall [more]
• Melissa Gooch says I hope you and your family are well. I was just wondering if you have you given up this [more]
• Nicole Walters says Hello
  I was recently diagnosed with chiari, and now my children are also showing symptoms. I came across your blog online, [more]

• November 12, 2009 -- For God has NOT given us a spirit of fear…
• August 19, 2009 -- Wordless Wednesday
• March 5, 2010 -- Priorities.
• January 14, 2010 -- New Year, new prayers…
• December 16, 2009 -- What faith has done.

We did it!  Schmidt Studio & Gallery has been put on the “publication” map!  We were featured in this summer’s installment of Tops in Lex’s Wedding Edition.

I have to brag a little because we were being featured with the TOP 5 wedding photographers in Kentucky!  I guess that makes us ONE OF THEM!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  It feels a little strange to be “known”.  As much as I love my photography, I am also my own WORST critic.  So anytime I see our work beside someone else’s I think of what I could do BETTER.

I do have to say what a privilege it is to be here, in this place in our life, running this studio, and getting to WORK every single day, doing something I love.  This is not a JOB for me.  It is a truly expressive and beautiful way to live.  Spending the MOST special day of a couple’s life with them, as their sidekicks… it is always an honor!  Maybe that is why our wedding couples are so special to us and why we like to keep them around long after the wedding is over…. who knows.  We are truly blessed with a thriving business in a declining market.  We are blessed to be acknowledged for our work and to be listed among “the best”.  We are SO excited to see what new opportunities this will bring to SS&G and to our couples!

You can pick up your copy on stands at various Bridal vendors in Lexington NOW!!!  Or visit the digital issue through the link above… YAY!Recent Comments:

• Dianne says Thanks for sharing your family with us, your kids are so cute! [more]
• Amber says Nicole… I emailed you! Sorry it took me so long! [more]
• Amber says Nope.. I am not gone… just busy! Had a crazy, amazing, awesome and BLESSED summer and fall [more]
• Melissa Gooch says I hope you and your family are well. I was just wondering if you have you given up this [more]
• Nicole Walters says Hello
  I was recently diagnosed with chiari, and now my children are also showing symptoms. I came across your blog online, [more]

• November 8, 2009 -- Christmas Card Preview!
• August 28, 2009 -- Another few faves from Gulf Shores…
• August 24, 2009 -- What the world needs is people who have come alive…
• August 19, 2009 -- Wordless Wednesday
• August 14, 2009 -- “Never a ship… sails out of the bay

Its official!  The house is on the market as of Monday.  Troy Todd, our fabulous Realtor, came and put the sign in the yard and I thought that it would be an emotional time but truthfully I am REALLY excited about the new ventures and possibilities in our life!  I know there will be many questions swirling throughout friends and family and I would just like to clear the air on some things:

So… where are we going once the house sells? We are moving in with my parents.  My parents are converting their garage into a garden home in the spring and for the time being their basement is being finished out into an apartment (we had done this once before but NOT like this time!  This time we are going drywall, recessed lighting, kitchen and all!)  We are hoping that timing coincides to be able to finish their home before we move in but it looks like God may have other plans…..

Why are we moving? Ah that is such a deep question.  For a variety of reasons but mostly because three years of stress on our finances, compounded by a deathly ill child, an affair, and a major remodel of the house has led our finances into a mess that will be hard to dig our way out of.  Every bit of “savings” that we have in the world went into renovating this house (and renovate we did! … pretty much everything from the studs up is new!) so we now find ourselves selling it to get our money back out of it.  We know though, that God is working out a way for us to be DEBT FREE, have a tiny bit of savings, and be rid of this house all at once!  Mostly though, we need help.  Having three kids is not easy for perfectly healthy families and we now have not one but TWO family members who are not well.  (Ky and myself.)  It is not fair to Troy to ask him to run a household, have a full time job, keep up the business (what little of it still exists) and take care of three kids full time.  Without this move, that is what the months after my surgery would entail for him because I will be nearly completely disabled.  I will not even be allowed to sit up straight for several weeks after the surgery.

Which brings us to “the surgery”. My neurosurgeon made it clear that he is going to try one more consult with a rheumatologist but after that I will have to stop putting off the surgery.  He told me to prepare to make peace with it so that at our next appointment (in 2 months) we would be ready to proceed with whatever path may need to happen.  I don’t know that I will ever be ready to decide on this but it will be a lot easier to proceed knowing that my kids are within walking distance of their school, there is someone at the house 24/7 and they will always have full bellies and a bath at night.

What made us decide to move in with my parents? They offered.  When I say offered.  They sincerely wanted to help and have decided to GIVE UP their bedroom, their house, their kitchen and everything so that our family unit can stay in tact and build something new for them.  I find myself in tears to know that my parents would be willing to make that kind of sacrifice.  This house, is the house that I grew up in.  My parents have owned this house for almost 26 years.  They have built everything in it… literally from the upstairs walls, roof, bathroom, to the kitchen cabinets.  Everything is the result of THEIR hard works, blood, sweat and tears.  For them to sacrifice that for ME and for my family… makes me know that I am the luckiest girl in the world!

Isn’t this house the “family” house? It may have been the place where Troy’s grandmother resided but it very much is OUR home.  This is the house we brought Kyleigh home from the hospital to, and the house that she nearly died in one day.  This is the house that we say a vision of, and made it come true with our own money and hard work.  This house was BOUGHT and paid for FROM the family so it truly does belong to us.  It is not something that was wholly “gifted” to us just as it was not “gifted” to Troy’s parents.  It was a part of an estate that was settled nearly 15 years ago now.  I would be more than happy to sell this house to any member of the family willing to buy it but for us… now… we must sell and for as close to asking (or more!  I am still believing for a bidding war!) so that we can pay off debt and move on with our lives. This house also holds a lot of BAD memories for us both and Troy has told me he has no idea how I have had the strength to stay here as long as I have.  Well… its not me, God has given me strength and grace to see this whole process through until now and HE will continue to be the WAY MAKER in all of our paths.

Will we buy a new house some day? Maybe… maybe not.  I have always wanted a family “compound” if you will.  It would be my ultimate dream to have us, the grandparents, my kids, their kids, and hopefully generations to come, all reside on one piece of property.  There is something so beautiful about a family being so close to their roots and having my kids hear stories about my grandfather (my dad’s dad) in the navy and about my grandmother’s “little house in the country”… I truly wish that Troy was able to tell our kids about his family but sadly he doesn’t know a lot about them.  It was something that was evidently never discussed in his family.  (I am sure that statement will piss someone off but I am done with it at this point.)  Maybe some research in the future will take care of that.  I want to sit down with scrapbooks of pictures of the great-grandparents and I want them to eat Sunday dinner with the great-grandparents who are still alive.  I want them to be able to say things like “My Pap would roll over in his grave if he knew…” because then I will KNOW that my kids really KNEW their grandparents and not just some “image” of what a grandparent should be.

Troy and I were working in the garage the other night.  Troy was trying to cut something on his chop saw and he looked at me and said “As Teddy Teater would say… this blade is as dull as my life”… I laughed and cried at the same time because it really hits me in the heart to know that my dad and Troy have the kind of relationship that my dad and my grandfather had (Pappy)…  because having a truly respectful relationship with your in laws is what is BEST for your kids.  That can’t always happen, as I am finding out, but when it CAN… its a beautiful thing.

Because like the Allstate commercial says…. I have realized that the size of my television is LESS important that the number of people gathered around it.  I want my kids to have such a rich sense of heritage that they KNOW and love all of these things.  I want them to crave this for their own families in the future.  I want them to always come home for Christmas because that is JUST WHAT YOU DO in our family.  If you NEVER tell your kids these things, they will never know.  Maybe its the fact that I have had to come to grips with the brevity of life, but I have become a person who wastes not ONE chance to tell my kids how much I love them.  I have and will continue to do EVERYTHING in my power to make their life “rich” and that is more meaningful than any CREDIT SCORE or bank account balance.  Because I know the MEASURE OF A MAN is NOT how tall he stands, how WEALTHY or INTELLIGENT he is..

So if you are still out there and haven’t ditched me after my LONG hiatuses… (lol) please join me in prayer.  God is already working a miracle!  We received an OFFER on our house the first day it was shown!  That offer is contingent and that makes us nervous.  We also, possible have 1-2 MORE offers in the fire that are trying to work out the details!!!!  God is good and He is working MIGHTILY in our lives right now.  I KNOW that after this is done we will stand and look back and KNOW that we are a people the Lord has blessed!  (Isaiah 61:9)!!!  (that also happens to be the scripture painted on my wall at the top of my stairs!)

My song inspiration of the day is: 4Him – Measure of a Man

This world can analize and size you up and throw you on the scales
They can I.Q. you and run you through
Their rigorous details
They can do their best to rate you
And they’ll place you on the charts
And then back it up with scientific smarts
But there’s more to what you’re worth
Than their human eyes can see
Oh, I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
‘Cause I’ve found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside to the bottom of your heart
And what’s in the heart defines
The measure of a man
Well, you can doubt your worth
And search for who you are
And where you stand
But God made you in His image
When He formed you in His hands
And He looks at you with mercy
And He sees you through His love
You’re His child and that will always be enough
For there’s more to what you’re worth
Than you could ever comprehend
Oh I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
‘Cause I’ve found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside
To the bottom of your heart
And what’s in the heart defines
The measure of a man
You can spend your life persuing physical perfection
There is so much more
More than ever meets the eye
For God looks through the surface
And He defines your worth by what is on the inside
I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
‘Cause I’ve found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside
To the bottom of your heart
And what’s in the heart defines
Oh, I say the measure of
The measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand,
How wealthy or intelligent you are
Oh, I’ve found the measure of a man
God knows and understands it
For He looks to the bottom of your heart
And what’s in the heart defines
Yeah, what’s in the heart defines
Yeah, what’s in the heart defines
The measure of a man
I know, I knowRecent Comments:

• Dianne says Thanks for sharing your family with us, your kids are so cute! [more]
• Amber says Nicole… I emailed you! Sorry it took me so long! [more]
• Amber says Nope.. I am not gone… just busy! Had a crazy, amazing, awesome and BLESSED summer and fall [more]
• Melissa Gooch says I hope you and your family are well. I was just wondering if you have you given up this [more]
• Nicole Walters says Hello
  I was recently diagnosed with chiari, and now my children are also showing symptoms. I came across your blog online, [more]

• December 16, 2009 -- What faith has done.
• May 10, 2009 -- Hold Fast – Mercy Me
• April 9, 2010 -- !!!!!!!!!! SOLD !!!!!!!!!!!!
• March 5, 2010 -- Priorities.
• February 5, 2010 -- A parent’s love…

This journey has led me to meet so many amazing people… in the blog world I have these “friend” who are truly strangers, yet your heart is drawn to people you have never met.  You don’t know why or how but you find yourself thinking of them, hoping with them, praying FOR them… and they become a blessing to you.  I know many of you have watched our life, in all its ups and downs, and have done the same for us.  I know that there are perfect strangers out there whom I do not even know your names who pray and bless us each day.

I would like to ask each of you to take a moment and pray for a few of our friends.  These are people whom God has really placed on my heart.

Eithene Rose is a darling little girl, who is just a few weeks younger than Kyleigh.  Her mom Jessica and I have been friends since we met online in an IA group.  Eithene and Kyleigh have seemed like soul sisters for so long and recently their family was given the news that Eithene does in fact have Mitochondrial disease.  I cannot imagine what a hard day it was for them because it was a day that downright SUCKED for me.  I sat in front of the computer sobbing.  I am crying right now.  Not that I don’t believe that God has them in His hands always but I look at Eithene and at Kyleigh and my heart hurts in ways I cannot begin to explain with words.

Whitney and her husband have been struggling with infertility.  On January 6 they found out that Whitney had miscarried.  Normally I skim through and its not that I am NOT sympathetic to infertility but its something hard for me to relate to.  But Whitney, it seems that every single post on her blog just rips my heart out.  Or makes my heart sing.  Why I am so attached to her, I don’t know but if you would find it in your heart to pray for her body to heal itself from this miscarriage and for God to dually bless her womb… I would be forever grateful.

The Sullivan Family – Sara (mom of this beautiful little group) was diagnosed with cancer while she was pregnant and went home less than a month after her beautiful baby girl was born on September 22, 2009.  Recently the autopsy concluded that it was NOT the cancer that claimed Sara’s life but a seizure which lead to cerebellar herniation (brainstem compression) which eventually made her body functions impossible.  This tears my heart into a million pieces … for all obvious reasons this scares the living daylights out of me…Now her husband, Brad, is raising their beautiful daughter Chloe by himself.  Please join me in praying for them!

There are so many more but today those are the three that my heart is really heavy for.  Also for the entire Nation of Haiti… I continue seeing news footage and I am glued to the television.. my heart is heavy for them also and praying that our country will be able to be a blessing to these people.  Seeing the PEACE on the streets as these people have NOTHING and nowhere to go yet spontaneous praise and worship services are breaking out.  What a testament to the power of faith.  I know that our Heavenly Father will not forsake that beautiful nation and will allow them to rebuild BETTER than they were before!Recent Comments:

• Dianne says Thanks for sharing your family with us, your kids are so cute! [more]
• Amber says Nicole… I emailed you! Sorry it took me so long! [more]
• Amber says Nope.. I am not gone… just busy! Had a crazy, amazing, awesome and BLESSED summer and fall [more]
• Melissa Gooch says I hope you and your family are well. I was just wondering if you have you given up this [more]
• Nicole Walters says Hello
  I was recently diagnosed with chiari, and now my children are also showing symptoms. I came across your blog online, [more]

• April 28, 2010 -- Have a little talk with Jesus…
• November 25, 2009 -- Do you believe in Miracles?
• November 7, 2009 -- Please pray for the Owens and Hilliard families.
• June 11, 2009 -- Say a quick prayer…

When Nota` sang this song it was all over for me after that… they had already won!  In the finale Jay Sean comes out on stage and surprises them during the reprise… it was A W E S O M E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am already counting the days until their album.  They have one song on Itunes but this one is by far my favorite… so until it comes to Itunes I will have to keep listening to Youtube!

Nota` boys………. you rocked our world!  You deserved that title, record contract and prize money and we were SO happy to see it go to the right people! If you want to see something funny… you should see Owen singing and dancing to Nota!!!!!!!!!!! I should record it… its a riot trust me!

To the other finalists… The Beelzebubs... just wow. I truly hope that they make some broadway show out of you guys. I would be there in a heartbeat. AND close to my heart… the Voices of Lee from Lee University in Tennessee... these guys go to college at the University which is correlated with the Church of God (cleveland TN). I grew up an Assembly of God / Church of God girl soRecent Comments:

• Dianne says Thanks for sharing your family with us, your kids are so cute! [more]
• Amber says Nicole… I emailed you! Sorry it took me so long! [more]
• Amber says Nope.. I am not gone… just busy! Had a crazy, amazing, awesome and BLESSED summer and fall [more]
• Melissa Gooch says I hope you and your family are well. I was just wondering if you have you given up this [more]
• Nicole Walters says Hello
  I was recently diagnosed with chiari, and now my children are also showing symptoms. I came across your blog online, [more]

Random Posts

• July 22, 2008 -- Curious George… in the morning
• June 8, 2009 -- Letting Life sink in…
• October 20, 2007 -- Our family is at peace today.
• August 21, 2006 -- Just one more post tonight
• February 21, 2009 -- Coupons Pay! What a Deal at Chick Fil A

But… through the the trials in my life, the obstacles, the pains and struggles… I’ve SEEN miracles… just happen.  Silent prayers get answered.  Broken hearts become brand new…………… THAT’S what faith can do.  Yes, I was listening to this song by Kutless and I realized what an anthem this is for my life.

What Faith can do ~ Kutless

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think its more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You do have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That’s what faith can do!
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

Have you ever been to THAT point in your life when you were SURE that there could be NOTHING worse?  You were positive that there was NO way that your life could be ANY harder and then… it got harder, more stressful, sadder, and another heaping helping was placed on you… yeah THAT place… I’ve been there.  Some days, I am STILL there.  It really is true though that sometimes you have to FACE the clouds to find the silver lining.

You end up in these “messes” and you find yourself floundering to get out.  You cry out for help and sometimes the help comes in a form in which we may not even recognize it.  So what defines US as Christians, from the rest of the world?  WE have faith to carry us through.  WE have a HOPE that NEVER ends… EVEN when the sky is falling.  WE have the ultimate safety net and even though we may fall… sometimes even hard and from a high place, He is there to catch us.

From the outside, it may looks as if we are somehow “cursed” by these “afflictions”… WHY if we are Christians and in the FAVOR of the Lord do we face these horrible things?  Because we are being refined.  When you think of a beautiful piece of blown glass you often times don’t realize what kind of process that glass went through to become that beautifully formed vase you see before you.  That glass was put through the FIRE.  It was twisted and turned, poke and prodded.  Refining that piece of glass and forging it into a piece of artwork was not a dainty process although the end product may be just that.  Delicate, elegant, beautiful.

I think so many times we get caught up in trying to “figure it out”.  Or at least I know I do.  Sometimes though, all He is asking us to do, is to let GO and let HIM do the work that needs to be done.  To allow him to be that glass blower who stick us, his beautiful pieces of artwork in that fire, pulls them out, blows into them the breath of life and send them on their journey as a beautiful finished product.

As you can tell from the last blog posting, its been a down few days.  I had such a great week last week.  I felt great.  I was able to get out and make some coupon runs.  I was able to stay up past 9 pm and actually enjoy watching TV with my husband.  I was able to do the laundry and play with the kids.  To go OUT to eat instead of asking Troy to just run through the drive thru because I was too tired to do anything else.  I made a few trips across town without falling asleep ( yes… I am nearly narcoleptic some days ).  It was wonderful.  I long for more.  I tried not to count how many days I felt good just because that would also mean numbering the days that I don’t and that number… is not one that I want to dwell on.  And then it hit.  I went to get out of bed and had to MAKE myself.  I had to drag my eyelids open and stumble my way to the bathroom ( yes I really do stumble until my CSF flow can be re-established from standing quickly). I tried to drink a mt. dew…. no go.  Put on some upbeat music… nada.  And then Ky was poopy… I went to lift her up onto her changing table… I tried three times to get her up there and finally I had to go get a step stool and let her climb because I physically could NOT lift her body weight up 3 ft to the changing table.  I muddled through that and sat down on the computer to try and get some work done.  Unable to access the server … no go there to.  I felt like going and crawling back into the bed and saying… “reboot”.  I wanted to start all over again.  I thought out loud “this is going to be one of those impossible days… when NOTHING goes right”….

Before the words could fully escape from my mouth I felt that tugging at my heart… I remembered this song.  “Impossible is NOT a word… its just a reason for someone not to TRY”.  I thought to myself… I could sit right here in this chair and give up on today.  I could whine and pout about how its going to suck and nothing is going to work so why even try.  I could sit here and say I am done… but somehow, I have never been the person who has been allowed, by my convictions to “give up” because believe you me there have been some times that I really would have liked to!  But no, not me.  I have been called, to be the person who God has determined that my testimony will be to overcome the odds when I don’t “stand a chance”.  I am the person who my spirit rises up and tells me that I CAN… no matter what the situation looks like.  I have often felt like maybe this could be a bit of a double edged sword but how much more am I blessed that my Heavenly Father trusts me to walk through these things KNOWING that I won’t give up… ever.  He has searched my heart and knows my anxious thoughts (and trust me … I have a lot of them!!! LOL).  So today… my scripture of the day is (of course)

Psalm 139

²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

And of course the song inspiration of the day is “What Faith Can Do” by Kutless. I hope that it can become an anthem in your life. I hope that you find that hope that doesn’t EVER end even when the sky is falling. I hope that you see miracles just happen and your silent prayers get answered. I hope that when the world tells you that you CAN’T that YOU will tell it that you CAN.

Recent Comments:

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• Amber says Nicole… I emailed you! Sorry it took me so long! [more]
• Amber says Nope.. I am not gone… just busy! Had a crazy, amazing, awesome and BLESSED summer and fall [more]
• Melissa Gooch says I hope you and your family are well. I was just wondering if you have you given up this [more]
• Nicole Walters says Hello
  I was recently diagnosed with chiari, and now my children are also showing symptoms. I came across your blog online, [more]

• March 5, 2010 -- Priorities.
• December 14, 2009 -- Hide and Seek
• November 11, 2009 -- It can’t end this way….
• February 4, 2010 -- FOR SALE!!! 1804 Hopemont Court
• November 12, 2009 -- For God has NOT given us a spirit of fear…

We hide from ourselves. We tell ourselves that we are strong and happy and not hurting when really we are. We tell ourselves that we are OKAY when we are not. We bring all of these obligatory feelings on ourselves. NO, you don’t HAVE to feel it necessary to do this for this person, and go here for this event. You don’t really even have to WORRY about what will be said if you don’t.

The ONLY person in the world that you cannot hide from is the ONE person we run from the most sometimes. Yep… God. Why we run from him I don’t know because of all the people in life who will criticize how clean your house is at your party or whether you were present at this event, GOD, could care less yet we spend so much of our lives asking HIM to wait until later to try and satisfy the obligations to so many who really don’t matter. To satisfy these insane lofty goals that we place on ourselves! Sigh………… and yet in the middle of our 4th trip to Target to get the flour you ran out of you hear Him…. “don’t leave that buggy in the parking lot”. “Hold that door for the little old lady who is struggling under 6 packages” “Be a little kinder and use your HORN a little less when you drive.”

Now, you may think I am crazy but the above statements are all conversations I have had with God in the past three days. I set out on my way home from Target and I said… tonight, I am too tired and too “down” to deal with Clays Mill Road (for a multiple MANY reasons… I hate that road… not to mention that they keep tearing it up and there are potholes and patches everywhere…). BUT Clays Mill Road is the main artery for me to get back home from Target or Meijer… so WHY on earth would I drive all the way 3 blocks out of my way to get home? To AVOID having to “deal” with all the crap. To avoid that pit of my stomach, hold back the vomit FEELING I get when I start to see that park on the right. Because I didn’t want to DEAL with it. I wanted to hide.

I had determined not to go down that road and had the alternate plan in my head. I packed my bags into the car, got in, turned on the radio and headed out… down Reynolds I went, around the roundabout and by that time I was singing along to this song: (How man Kings? by Downhere)

How many gods have poured out their hearts to ROMANCE a world that’s torn all apart?

I totally lost it sitting at the light at Keithshire and Clays Mill. Balling, heaving tears. It was as if God was asking me… HOW MANY other people would do for you what “I” have done? And yet you would rather HIDE from this than to TRUST ME and lean on ME. How could I? How dare me. I sat there in disbelief that after EVERYTHING that I have been through with MY God that I would STILL find myself avoiding, hiding. Have I ever known Him to NOT see me through? Has HE ever failed to provide just what I needed? Has HE ever left me? Never has… never will. As I looked up from my tears the light turned green and the song on the radio changed. I realized something in that minute.

We seek HELP from so many different sources. We look to our friends and family to shoulder our burdens with us. We look to our church families to help carry us. We look to our spouses to pick us up when we can no longer walk on. Yet the ONLY person we NEED to seek help from in life… is God and so many times HE is the last one we look to. It seems that sometimes we only REMEMBER to ask him for help when there is some catastrophic event happening before us. We have no problem calling on God when a family member is dying or an accident has occurred… and those times, as we should, we cry out. But we NEED Him, we NEED our Heavenly Father’s love, grace and companionship every single day. We NEED to seek him for everything in our lives… good and bad!. I found myself thinking of this when I was standing in the aisle of Target. That ONE toy that Ross asked for had been out of stock all week… (I had to get it at Target because it was a deal… long story but after coupons it took a $75 toy down to $9.99!!!!!) and finally my eyes graced the boys of that toy. I instantly took out my phone and called Troy to tell him. No answer. No worries, he was working on the drywall I am sure he didn’t hear the phone. So I called my mom… no answer. My dad’s cell… sometimes they leave her phone when they are out together… no answer there either…. darnit its 7 pm… he is playing Santa somewhere. And then I thought… man I just want to tell SOMEONE! It was killing me. When all of the sudden I hear that still small voice that says… “Tell me”…. I was like… oh yeaaaaaaaaah!!! “hey God I cannot believe I found this, I have been looking everywhere and Ross is going to be so happy and I got my deal and all my coupons and this is the best night ever… I never thought I would find it.” His simple reply… “who do you think put that toy on that shelf?”………… silence……….. tears………… right there in the middle of aisle 7 of Target Toys section…. HE was the one who made this seemingly impossible thing happen and yet He was the last one that I wanted to tell. I felt very ashamed of myself.

Each day. I am learning what it means to have a PERSONAL relationship with my Heavenly Father. I know that some people may not understand what it is to “talk” to God … and I am not talking “Dear Heavenly Father we come to you today” prayer style talking. I mean talk. I mean TELL Him whats on your mind and in your heart. and then LISTEN.

The song that came on the radio next is my song inspiration of the day.
NeedtoBreathe – Washed by the Water.
“EVEN when the rain falls, EVEN when the flood starts rising
EVEN when the storm comes, I am WASHED by the water……
Even when the earth crumbles under my feet
Even when the ones I love turn around and crucify me.
I won’t EVER EVER let you down.
I won’t fall.
I won’t fall.
I won’t fall as long as YOU’RE around me.”

If I were to write the lyrics for my life they would look more like this:

“Even when the doctors don’t know

Even when your husband says I have go

Even when your friends disappear

Even when your mother doesn’t want to hear

Even when the rain falls

Even when the flood starts rising.

Even when the storm comes.

I am washed by the water.

This whole thought process brings my mind back to

Hebrews 10:

¹⁸And where these have been forgiven, there is no longer any sacrifice for sin. ¹⁹Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, ²⁰by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, ²¹and since we have a great priest over the house of God, ²²let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. ²³Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. ²⁴And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. ²⁵Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Jesus paid the ultimate price and His body was made the ultimate sacrifice for ME. So that the veil could be torn and so that I could come directly to the FEET of God and yet we take that for granted. What a gift and price to take for granted. My prayer today is that I would know, every single day, that I can (and should) talk to my Heavenly Father at any time. I do truly believe that He would like to hear from us sometimes other than to just ask for something! So today… I challenge YOU… talk to Him. If you see something beautiful… tell Him. If you find something funny… tell Him. Go to HIM first and make a conscious effort to do so for a few days and see how your perspective starts to change quickly.Recent Comments:

• Dianne says Thanks for sharing your family with us, your kids are so cute! [more]
• Amber says Nicole… I emailed you! Sorry it took me so long! [more]
• Amber says Nope.. I am not gone… just busy! Had a crazy, amazing, awesome and BLESSED summer and fall [more]
• Melissa Gooch says I hope you and your family are well. I was just wondering if you have you given up this [more]
• Nicole Walters says Hello
  I was recently diagnosed with chiari, and now my children are also showing symptoms. I came across your blog online, [more]

• March 5, 2010 -- Priorities.
• December 16, 2009 -- What faith has done.
• November 12, 2009 -- For God has NOT given us a spirit of fear…
• November 11, 2009 -- It can’t end this way….
• November 10, 2009 -- Heroes and Villains

So, my dearly beloved is working furiously to correct this problem.  Thank God I have a programmer for a husband!  LOL

At any rate…. I think its also safe to say that “I” am having technical difficulties!  I am normally a pretty creative (I think) and festive person and this year I have just had a mental block.  I am SO excited and LOVE the holidays in ways I cannot explain but this year, I just cannot find the motivation to get it together.  Last night I FINALLY took my tree skirt to be monogrammed (been on the list to do since oh say… September), and picked up some more coupon finds along with a few new laundry baskets ( I am a instituting a new method to the laundry room that is currently a PIT!).  There are so many things I WANT to do and trust me … my house looks like a bomb went off….  but I just cannot find the energy to do it.  I end up on the couch with the kids curled up and watching dora or sitting on the computer trying desperately to motivate myself to at least get some photographs proofed but no sooner than I open the program does a headache set in that grips my head, travels down my spine and ruins every muscle in my body.  I have never give a lot of thought into being “disabled” mostly because I guess I never thought it would happen to me…. now I sit here, the very definition of disabled, and it sucks.  I rarely have the energy to drive so I am honestly glad that we are down to one vehicle and even getting the energy to go out with the kids to dinner is a challenge.  I feel like I could use a good dose of speed.  My docs ask if I am depressed… honestly… no.  Unless its totally subconscious and I have no idea that I am and I am internalizing it and that is coming out in my ability to function.  But I generally think life is good, and beautiful and the holidays are here (they ARE the most wonderful time of the year after all!) and my house is close to being finished on our never ending list of remodeling tasks, and I am ready to bake and wrap and decorate and ….. I can’t find the energy to get off the couch.  And that sucks too.

So I have decided to try and combat these “exhausted” days with prayer.  I figure if people can have a prayer “diet” I can have a prayer kick in the pants motivator adrenaline rush!!

My prayer adrenaline rush for today is: PSALM 30

¹ I will exalt you, Lord, for you rescued me.
You refused to let my enemies triumph over me.
² O Lord my God, I cried to you for help,
and you restored my health.
³ You brought me up from the grave,^[a] O Lord.
You kept me from falling into the pit of death.

⁴ Sing to the Lord, all you godly ones!
Praise his holy name.
⁵ For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime!
Weeping may last through the night,
but joy comes with the morning.

I truly think that there is some form of clarity that comes from reading a passage in multiple translations.  There are many points of view from each translation of the Bible that can give insight to any situation at hand.  Hearing the scripture in another form, another translation sometimes helps one to pin point the “ah ha” moment that helps them apply the scripture to their life.  So I think its also important to read THIS scripture in “The Message” translation.  It is powerful to understand it in this way as well at the New Living Translation above.

¹ I give you all the credit, God— you got me out of that mess,
you didn’t let my foes gloat.

^2-3 God, my God, I yelled for help
and you put me together.
God, you pulled me out of the grave,
gave me another chance at life
when I was down-and-out.

^4-5 All you saints! Sing your hearts out to God!
Thank him to His face!
He gets angry once in a while, but across
a lifetime there is only love.
The nights of crying your eyes out
give way to days of laughter.

I have nothing to add… that pretty much says it all.  I would say that THIS translation is exactly how I would have translated this scripture into my own life.  He got me out of this MESS… He pulled me (and Kyleigh and Troy… and every human being for that matter) out of the grave!  But there is something still so true about the last line of this passage in the good old King James Version:

⁵For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

But JOY cometh in the morning.  Enough said……………

Today I am praying that I would be able to be filled with that Joy that is the breath of LIFE straight from our Heavenly Father.  I am praying that he breathes life into my soul and energy into my bones.  I am praying that He would allow me to be productive but most of all to be a BLESSING to anyone I come into contact with and in order that I should do that that He will remove from my bones their exhaustion and turn my mourning into DANCING.  That God will allow this morning and every morning ahead to be THE morning that the Joy comes.  For it to be the day in which beauty rises from the ashes.

Musical Inspiration of the day: Beauty will Rise- Steven Curtis Chapman

Recent Comments:

• Dianne says Thanks for sharing your family with us, your kids are so cute! [more]
• Amber says Nicole… I emailed you! Sorry it took me so long! [more]
• Amber says Nope.. I am not gone… just busy! Had a crazy, amazing, awesome and BLESSED summer and fall [more]
• Melissa Gooch says I hope you and your family are well. I was just wondering if you have you given up this [more]
• Nicole Walters says Hello
  I was recently diagnosed with chiari, and now my children are also showing symptoms. I came across your blog online, [more]

• April 28, 2010 -- Have a little talk with Jesus…
• March 5, 2010 -- Priorities.
• December 16, 2009 -- What faith has done.
• December 14, 2009 -- Hide and Seek
• December 5, 2009 -- Believe….

I made this cute little banner to hang over our manger scene.  I saw it on Etsy and thought… I can make that!!!!!!!!  So I did   LOL  As it hangs in my living room it makes me smile.  I walk past it and it truly helps me to remember what it is that I believe.  (Want to WIN one of your own??  read to the end of the post to find out how!!)

I can honestly say that I have deep seeded beliefs.  My entire life has been molded and shaped mostly by my faith and by those who have taught me what SHOULD BE even if that isn’t necessarily what IS.  I know that people are affected by their life experiences but for me it seems that instead of being shaped by experiences in my life, I have been affirmed by them.  If that makes any sense…  I haven’t been changed by these experiences but I now cling to these things that I believe, even more tightly now because I KNOW that these things are true!  From the abundance blessings that have been given to me I know that I am a daughter of the MOST high King.

So today… I will let you in on a few things I believe:

I believe that God, is our Heavenly Father who seeks prosper us and not to harm us, to give us HOPE and a future.

I believe that Jesus, the Son of God, was sent to die on the cross for the atonement of our sins and to make a way through himself to the Father.

I believe that the Holy Spirit completes the Trinity.  I believe that the Holy Spirit is real and lives inside me every single day.  I know that this is true because I can feel that sweet tug and gentle guidance that the Spirit gives me in times of need or joy.

I believe that the Bible is not just reading material.  Its a real, living, inspired God breathed instruction manual for life.  I have read the Bible from cover to cover.  I believe that it important to KNOW the Bible in its entirety to be able to correctly interpret the sum of its parts.

I believe that we are to live according to the laws of Moses but in the FREEDOM of the Church of Acts and in the spirit of the Apostle Paul and the Corinthians.  When Jesus died the veil was TORN and therefore I am happy that we can live in a church that has the freedom to worship.

I believe that the world is a beautiful place, that humans are good whether they have gone awry or not.  I believe that everyone has the ABILITY to do good and choose the RIGHT over the WRONG.

I believe that there is a RIGHT and a WRONG and nothing in between.  There is no gray area.  There is no justification.  I choose not to be lukewarm because I would rather not be spewed from His mouth. (Revelation 3:16)

I believe in the Truth.  I believe that half truths are lies.  I believe that “thou shalt not lie” and I have a very guilty conscience which rarely allows for stretching the truth!  LOL

I believe that my life was divine instituted and the plan for it was conceived long before I was.

I believe that everyone has a purpose in life and once their divine purpose has been fulfilled their time on earth is finished.

I believe that there really is something to be being a “good” person.

I believe in random acts of kindness.

I believe that lots of things that happen to us in life are RARELY about “us” and more about who we are to BE to someone or what we are charged with doing to help someone else.

I believe that you are to choose the right no matter what the outcome.  It doesn’t matter what the bum on the street is going to do with that dollar bill, you are to provide it to him.  Whatever you do for the LEAST of these brothers… you have done for Christ.  (Matthew25:31-46)

I believe that there are miracles that happen around us each day.  We should take a little time everyday to be still and know that HE is God.  To SEE the wonder in the world that we live in.

I believe that you must STAND for SOMETHING or you will FALL for ANTYTHING.

I believe that Christmas is magical and that there is nothing more beautiful that the glow of a Christmas tree.

I believe that children can hear the heartbeat of God.

I believe that love never dies.  I believe that love bears ALL things, believes ALL things, HOPES all things, ENDURES all things.  I honestly believe that LOVE never fails.  It may get lost along the way but it will never fail.

I believe that the best smell on earth is warm baked cookies and the smell of my own pillow.

I believe that no matter how hard you try you will eventually fail at something in life but that should not stop you from trying.

I believe that no matter hard you fall you can ALWAYS get up and move on.  There is no “laying down to die”.

I believe that sometimes you have to help YOURSELF.  There is only so much that others can do for you.  Sometimes even Doctors need your help to be able to help you.

I believe that you should live like you were dying and enjoy every single moment and every single breath.

In the spirit of today’s post… I am offering a little giveaway… I handmade myself this bunting to go over our manger scene this year and I want to share this with YOU!  Leave a comment and tell me what it is that YOU believe and I will randomly choose a commenter to receive a copy of my “believe” banner to add to your holiday decor!  YAY!!!!!  Comments will close on Monday at noon.  I hope to ship this Monday afternoon so that you can get it ASAP!!!  So get those comments rolling and let me know what it is that YOU believe!

Recent Comments:

• Dianne says Thanks for sharing your family with us, your kids are so cute! [more]
• Amber says Nicole… I emailed you! Sorry it took me so long! [more]
• Amber says Nope.. I am not gone… just busy! Had a crazy, amazing, awesome and BLESSED summer and fall [more]
• Melissa Gooch says I hope you and your family are well. I was just wondering if you have you given up this [more]
• Nicole Walters says Hello
  I was recently diagnosed with chiari, and now my children are also showing symptoms. I came across your blog online, [more]

• November 24, 2009 -- Be Still my heart… (er.. nose)
• November 12, 2009 -- For God has NOT given us a spirit of fear…
• November 11, 2009 -- It can’t end this way….
• November 10, 2009 -- Heroes and Villains
• November 9, 2009 -- 7 weeks Till Christmas